Psalm 7:17 Friday

Things I am thankful for:

-Being apart of a faculty who can act silly for students! We did a flash mob with choreography to "It's Friday" this morning in gym while our students were waiting to be dismissed!
-Having small classes due to a large field trip today!
-Getting to spend time with my family tonight
-Having friends at school who challenge me, keep me grounded, and inspire me
-Being able to plan fun parties for friends who are expecting!
-Being a part of a church who puts an incredible emphasis on Holy Week drawing our attention to the sacrifice of our savior. (Everyone should be at Shandon on Sunday night at 7 for Come to the Cross: A modern night of worship. I promise it will prepare you for Holy Week in awesome ways)
-Oh yeah...Spring Break starts at 3:30 today!!

Loves

Sorry that I was MIA yesterday! This week has been crazy with Spring Break next week! I will pick up on my Wednesday posting next week!

Here are some things I am loving this week:

-being able to pick up Starbucks for my fabulous co-workers this morning
-the excitement in school because spring break is next week
-The journals from Gadanke! I won a $40 gift certificate from them last week! How exciting!
-This golden snitch necklace! I can think of a couple Gryffindors that I would love to purchase this for!
-This chevron wall! Thinking this might be my new headboard soon!

What are you loving this week?!

Personal Reflections Part II

 This post was supposed to be dedicated to discussing my strengths and weaknesses, but I have not had enough time to sit down and truly reflect on those just yet. Instead I will devot this post to the things I like/love. This is a much easier list to complete, but it does take some time to decide if the things on my list are a trend in my life or something I truly like/love. Sure, trends are fine and well, but I don't want to define myself by something that will be off my list in a couple of months (Obviously those things that will go off the list in years are different. My life stage will change and so will things I like/love. I will be exposed to more things.). Maybe I should include a "I like right now list", but you could just tune in to my posts on Thursdays where I discuss what I love that week :)

What I like/love

my savior and redeemer

my family

my boyfriend

my friends

cooking

sunshine

the smell of honeysuckle

reading

good food

sunny warm mornings

farmer's markets

the south

my bible study

purple

Christmas Season

typography

the Bible

camp fires

throwing get togethers 

live music

owls

speciality food stores

blogs

live music outside in the summer

books

local restaurants

hot dogs

the idea of shopping at markets in a city

massages

my grandmother's breakfast

the beach

country music

cities

sleeping in

summer

road trips

the smell of the ocean

Outback

singer/song writer music

tan skin

good design

late nights with friends

new music

pedicures

fashion (clothes, shoes, bags, jewelry)

rainbows

rock/alternative music

What do you love/like on a consistent basis? What would people think you love based on what they see?

Unqualified

As my mission trip to London draws closer I feel more unqualified to be going on this trip. When I sit in our team meetings listening to the discussion I can't help but become overwhelmed almost to the point of tears. I have been a believer since I was 7 years old and some of the questions we are raising about our faith to prepare ourselves for our encounters in London are incredibly above my head.

I know that the Lord has allowed me to go on this trip for a reason. I recognize that the doors that were opened for me to go were not done by accident. But for the life of me I can't help, but wonder how I will be of any use to God for this trip.

I can't answer questions regarding science vs. God. I am not a philosophical thinker nor a high intellect. I've never had a real crisis of faith or truly questioned where God was in my life. Nothing horrible has happened to me and my testimony is pretty straight forward.

I grew up in a Christian household, my dad has been a minister my entire life, and I accpeted Christ when I was 7. I have been in the church since I was born and have not missed many Sunday's in my life. My faith has been a rollercoaster in terms of how devoted I have been to the Lord and it did not become my OWN fully until college. I have struggled with insecurity, self-conciousness, fear, anxiousness, and pride. I tend to place my worth in other people's hands, but nothing has been to the extreme. I guess I should feel blessed, but right now I feel pretty unuseful.

I am scared I won't be able to approach someone and start a conversation (I am pretty shy). Then even if I do approach someone what if they reject me? I am nervous that I won't be able to explain my faith or answer their questions. What if I just confuse myself and them even more? What if I become so flustered I can't even talk? Or even worse what if I go over there and never have a conversation about my faith?

Like I said earlier, I am an observer. This also means that I don't ask questions when I need to or get things explained for me when I don't understand. I don't like drawing attention to myself or seeming like I am incompentent. I don't like being bad at things even if "being bad" means that I have never tried before (logical I know). I am independent and prideful when it comes to trying new things or going out of my comfort zone, which is why it doesn't happen very often at all. Even though I am a teacher it is very difficult for me to be taught new things, especially when I recognize I will probably fail at first. I am the type of person that when I try something new I want to be an expert at it the first time without any coaching or help.

I have come to recognize my way of doing things is not going to work this time. I have bought book after book, read blog after blog, and tried to think my way through the process, but it's not helping me get ready as much as other things would that require me to get a little uncomfortable.

I need to have discussions with people. I need to practice answering questions, writing out answers and definitions of words that I understand because of my upbringing that others may not be clear on. Explaining Christianity with words that come from Christianity really doesn't help someone who is an unbeliever. I need to be able to defend my faith, but also explain it in a clear way. I need to admit that I need the help of others and its probably going to be ugly in the beginning. Not to mention that its ok not to be perfect at everything.

I am incredibly thankful for the wealth of resources that surround me. I have friends and family that are extremely gifted in explaining their faith to others and answering the challenging questions that some unbelievers may have. I must come to be ok with being uncomfortable if it means that I am learning to share my faith with others. It's the least I can do when Christ died for me.

But even more than that I can be sure that the Holy Spirit is going to be with me the entire time and will be guiding my words. The Lord has gone before me and will use my words if I am speaking for him. I know that I don't have to have all the answers, but I do want to be as prepared as I can be, recognizing that it is not me that brings people to Christ, but the Lord himself.

Please continue to pray for me and our group as we prepare for London. Pray that we prepare our hearts and minds for the conversations that we will have understanding the Lord is going before us and with us. Pray for me as I work against my fears and pride regarding learning new things.

I know many of the people that read my blog do not normally leave comments, but this is one post that I do need your input on. If you want to email me feel free.

How would you explain sin, Lord, grace, or sacrifice to an unbeliever? What do you use to start a conversation about God in someone's life? How do you share your faith with others? Are their books that have helped you share your faith?

Psalm 7:17 Friday

What I am thankful for this week:

-We only have one week until spring break!
-Sweet time with friends over dinner
-WWII Veterans ranging in age from 88-90 coming to speak to my classes (quite the humorous day)
-Students who tell me I look pretty during class
-Beautiful weather to enjoy this week and this weekend
-The fabulous, AshleyMorgan, being back from London and seeing her beautiful face Tuesday
-Being able to do favors for Josh that allow him to get something very exciting!
-Did I mention one more week until spring break?!

Loves

What I am loving this week...

1. It's Masters week! Who doesn't love watching golf on such a beautiful course? Yesterday I watched while I was running at the gym and the time flew by. It was the 3 par tournament and the kids of the golfers were on the course being fantastically cute!

2. The Esty store, Retrostilleto has some quirky prints that I just love. I have a specific Diet Coke loving friend who I plan on getting this for.

3. Publix. I went on Monday and I couldn't have left happier. One employee spoke to me as I came in and then again as I left. The employee at the deli complemented my glasses. Then I heard a customer tell another customer she had beautiful skin! Who doesn't love compliments from strangers! Then I heard another customer tell a manager how helpful an employee was. I just love it!

4. The Nester is having a fantastic giveaway day. There are about 10 different giveaways you can enter posted on her site. I went on a giveaway entering spree yesterday when I got home.

What are you loving or crushing on this week?

What am I listening to now...

Ever wonder what your friends are listening to in their cars or on their ipods? Looking for new music? Here is what I am listening to right now (Mind you I have varied taste depending on my mood):

While Messenger was originally released June of 1999, Josh (my fantastic boyfriend), purchased it last week on itunes after losing it from his computer. I have been a fan of Edwin McCain for quite some time and this album has some great songs on it including: I'll Be, Anything Good About Me, Promise of You, and Do Your Thing.  

Passion's newest album Here for You was released March 4, 2011. This is the live album recorded from the Passion 2011 conference in Atlanta, GA. I was super excited for it to be released since I had watched the live feed of the conference from home since I couldn't be there! This is a great worship album that anyone would enjoy.

The album is another worship album that came out this year as well. Hillsong United released Aftermath February of this year. Yet again they have produced a fantastic live worship album. Be looking for some of these songs as well as songs from Here for You at Come to the Cross (Modern Night of Worship for Easter) this year at Shandon (Sunday April 17 at 7).

The last album I have to share with you the Sarah Bareilles' Kaleidoscope Heart, which was released last September. Being a fan of her previous album Little Voice I was excited to see what she had in store. Three of my favorite songs on this album are Uncharted, Hold My Heart, and King of Anything.

I wish I could be more analytical about the music or the lyrics, but that is not my forte (it's definitely Josh's, maybe I can get him to write a guest post :)). This is just music I enjoy listening to.

What are your favorite albums, artists, or songs currently?

Personal Reflections: Who I Am

I was recently reading the blog, b*spoke and was inspired by the personal reflection journey she is currently going on as she redefines her blog, company identity, and goals. It got me thinking about how beneficial it is to examine yourself on a regular basis, really spending time looking at who you are, how you got there, what you like/dislike, what your strengths/weaknesses are, what changes you would like to see, and how you would like to be known.

After a couple of minutes of stream of conscious writing here is what I came up with:

Who I Am

growing christian

blessed daughter

loyal sister/in-law

honored granddaughter

loving girlfriend

faithful friend

mentor

 aunt (to friend's children)

inspired teacher

petite, brown eyed, brown hair girl

cook

southerner

reader

concert goer

new blog writer

encourager

University of South Carolina Graduate

South Carolinian

former Tennessean

organizer

task-orientated

observer

perfectionist

home owner

sweet tea (and chai tea) drinker

shopper

blog reader

football and baseball fan

new exerciser

listener

What about you? Who are you? Leave your top five or link to your full list on your blog!

Daily Reminders

After a slight meltdown about my physical appearance two weekends ago, this past week I was pretty stable regarding my desire to be physically fit (no tears, meltdowns, or pity parties!). I was feeling good because I had been to the gym 3 times that week, increased my running speed, eaten healthy for the most part, and given my desires and insecurities to God.

Then Sunday it all came crashing down.

As I was standing in worship on Sunday I couldn't help, but notice a girl in the sanctuary. She wasn't overly stunning by any means, but she had everything I thought I wanted. Stylish clothes, perfect skin and makeup, designer accessories, flowing hair, and what seemed to be a pretty toned body. I instantly needed everything she had. I could no longer focus on worship because I was consumed with wanting to be her.

The funny thing is, is that I was only looking at the outside, assuming she was living the perfect life. I was sure that she had that body naturally or rarely had to workout (and if she did it came easily to her and she enjoyed it), she had never had insecurities over her appearance, always had the right things to wear and accessorize with, and of course had the perfect house, job, and family. She was never stressed, always having fun, and living a fantastic life.

Once I drew myself back into reality I knew I had a choice to make. I could either continue to focus on my made up story of the girl in the sanctuary or I could focus on the God that created me as I am. I was stunned that my security could be stripped from me in such a short amount of time. It only took Satan one minute to distract me from worshipping and focus my attention on everything I thought I didn't have and needed.

Then I quickly remember that my time with the Lord had not been consistent the last three days. Once I had prayed and spent time with the Lord earlier that week I forgot that this was going to be a daily battle. I assumed that since I had laid my insecurities at his feet on Tuesday that it was going to be a breeze from there on out. Oh how wrong I was.

Time and time again I become disappointed in myself for losing sight of Christ so quickly. He desires to be with me every second of every day and I know how powerful he can be in my life when I allow him to be there. You would think I would remember those times of hope and encouragement, the times when I feel incredibly secure in him and empowered to take on life's daily challenges, but they fade all too quickly. I become self absorbed and short sighted when I do not allow the Lord to work in my life on a regular basis.

This just goes to show just how important being in the Bible and communicating with God really is! I will not win this battle over insecurity and self image without him by my side, reminding me I am his perfect creation! I must use the promises in his word to remove any lies in my thoughts that could lead me down a path to emotional destruction. The only way to combat lies that the world throws at is is through the truth of scripture. Day in and day out my focus must be on Christ being my reward as I work on growing disciplines in my life so that I can grow as a believer.

Psalm 7:17 Friday

What I am thankful for this week...

-A fantastic dinner with fabulous friends last night (Grilled chicken, roasted veggies, and rice)
-My jewelry order coming in from my jewelry party and then getting to make people's day by delivering their purchases
-Have I mentioned that my sister-in-law is coming home TODAY!!
-Friends who have similar "getting healthy" goals, hold me accountable and share their success stories with me.
-A God who loves me unconditionally and is patient with me as I grow my discipline in many areas of my life
-Feeling gross after eating super bad fast food and/or drinking soft drinks (Makes it alot easier to curb the desire)
- Promises of the word that keep me secure in who the Lord has created me to be and help me keep positive about the body he has given me (while working to keep it healthy and honor it as his temple)
-Having two weeks until spring break!!
-A boyfriend who is fabulous! He knows just what to say and when to say it!
-Project days and test days one after the other!
-Getting to be an Aunt a second time around! My lovely friend, Annie, is expecting! Yay!
-Having lunch tomorrow with a college roommate who is coming in from Ohio!
-It's FRIDAY!